Thursday, December 29, 2011

Empty handed, but alive in your hands.

You know, it's amazing that I'm not afraid right now.
For undisclosed reasons, I should be a bit more unstable at the moment and yet here I am, content. Not only content, but happily catching up on things around the cleaning. And if you know me very well, then you know that I very much so do NOT like cleaning my own messes at all. I'm not a dirty person, but I am a messy person. I'll clean up your mess before I'd clean up my own. You see, normally that's a nice trait to take care of others before yourself, but in this situation, it isn't so good. It'd be nice of me to clean up my own messes just as much as another person's mess. Working on that...well, sort of. I also got back to my work-out routine. Not sure if I'd call it routine quite yet since this is only my first day back to it. Hopefully I'll stick to all of this, despite my trip to Atlanta next week for Passion. (which I am STOKED for! woohoo!)

Alright now. So what's the point of the blog post? Good question, I have no idea. I just wanted to update this. I know throughout the past 2-3 weeks I've been wanting to write GREAT post about GREAT topics. I never got around to those posts (obviously), so here I am. Writing about nonsense. Merrily doing so. Sitting down in my freshly almost all of the way cleaned bedroom, listening to music, sporting a dopey smirk and typing away.

This really could be the most pointless thing I've ever written and shared on this blog. Normally these sort of posts go onto my Xanga (Yes, I still use that. Want to read it? Perfect! I warn you, those posts are complaining, ranting, raving, happiness, sadness, bragging, self-destruction and everything else of the sort.)

Well, I'm glad that I'm content. I know that I couldn't be without God. Please be praying for me to continue to find peace and a few other things I'm needing at the moment. Thanks. Prayers are appreciate to a great extent. And if you're in the praying mood, please be praying for these people and their situations as well:

  • Couple moving to Michigan, the girl is uprooting her entire life to leave her home in Jacksonville for a new life with her fiancé in the Midwest. Pray not only for their move, but for their marriage soon to start.
  • Good friend & her fiancé getting married in spring 2012.
  • Everyone going to Passion next week. That our hearts and lives are changed forever.
  • For your next door neighbors and if you don't have any, then a random stranger you saw today. If you didn't see anyone today, pray for an old or new friend.
  • For your future spouse if you are single and if you are in a relationship or married, pray for your spouse.
  • The people around the world that are worshipping and praising in places it is prohibited.
  • For the missionaries and the people that they encounter.
  • For your family and friends.
  • Young married couple with only one car needing another to help make life easier, also their financial situation.
  • For the people that feel lost and alone, help them to feel loved and find God (if they already are in a relationship with God, let them be reminded of how great God and his love is.)
  • For the new year to be better than all the past years and to not live in the past for those that struggle with that.

I love you guys, all of you, even the difficult ones like myself.


Sunday, December 18, 2011

I see your face, You're beautiful.

It's absolutely amazing how good God's timing and plan is. I just read through a Bible study that perfectly relates to my current situation. I'm struggling to enjoy my job and understanding my purpose there. I've been thinking, "I need to find somewhere I can flourish in God's name, I'm miserable here," while at the same time having the thought that I shouldn't constantly flee to comfort. God doesn't always put us in comfortable places in our lives. Look at Jesus's life for crying out loud. He was hated by so many then put to death on a cross. I feel like going through our trials are so menial when compared to that. "Where is God in all of this? I'm struggling." Well, gee, pretty sure we can look at Jesus's life and be at a complete loss as to how he obeyed through all of that. If it was any of us, a mere human, I'm sure we'd wonder where God was and try to choose a more comfortable lifestyle--occupation, place of work, people we interact with, where we live, the list goes on and on. And yet, here Jesus is setting an example for all of our lives to come. "Even though we walk in the shadows, in the valley of death...we live to know you." Such powerful words. Through everything, we must continue to live for God. We need to see the bigger picture or at least have an understanding and trust that there is a bigger picture. God is bigger than us. Going through the story of David, I'm being convicted and falling more in love with Christ and all he has done. I am so excited to live the life he has for me even though I have no idea what that entails. I believe I will be a leader in some form, I believe that I will help others, but most of all, I know my purpose is to further his kingdom. It's not about the pharisees and the legalities of everything, it's about love, faith, hope, trust and forgiveness. It's living a life to please God because his cause is greater than our own. Even though I'm not happy in my job or with the people, I need to lay my pride by my side and pick up the cross daily. I'm living to further his kingdom, not mine. It is not about me, it never has been and it never will be. Glory be to God. I'm blessed and will fight the good fight. It will be difficult and I cannot do it on my own nor do I want to try. I'm glad to know that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. He is the great redeemer and the great restrainer. Slow to anger. Quick to love. Pray without ceasing. Give thanks in all things. lovelovehumblecause