Monday, September 29, 2008

way to be original.

By saying you're starting over new.
By saying that you're going to change for the better.
By saying that you're going to spend more time with God.
By saying that you're going to get things done that need to be done.
By saying that you're going to finish what you started.
By saying that you're you're going to love more and fight less.
By saying that you'll respect more people and honor your values.
By saying everything will be different.
.....and then having nothing at all on that list change.
not one thing, at least not for the better.

Yeah, I need to stick to it.
Not just say it and not do it. I need to get back to where I was in my life a little over a year ago. I'm still not some wild child, but I am not at all satisfied with where I am in life. I need to go to Him and Him alone for He is the only one that can truly save me from this mess. I'm trying to fix too much all at one time, when what I truly need to do is go to God, give it to Him, and let Him take care of it. I need to put full trust in the God that was able to part water, walk on water, and turn water into blood. This God is just as powerful now as He was as we read about in the Bible. There is no reason that if I give it all up to Him, that He won't take care of me. I know this, I just have to live it. I have to stop being selfish because I'm obviously not getting myself anywhere. I love God, I sure am awful at showing it sometimes. I don't give Him enough time out of my day. I know I should do more for Him, and yet I don't. I need to not doubt Him at all and I need to fully trust in Him. Life is so much better on the other side. The side of the light. I need to run into this marvelous light and never wander into darkness again.

I'm sorry, Lord.
I love you.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

boom chee.

I wonder...

It sure would be nice to just know and not have to wonder. But then again.....

Oh, anyway....
today has been swell. (:


Monday, September 22, 2008

do you think that some things are better left unsaid?

i'm not sure what i would title my blogs if it wasn't for lyrics, just throwing that out there.

So things are going okay. Life is "good" in many ways, but at the same time, I am not completely satisfied. I'm human, I should always be striving for more, especially in my relationship with Christ, and so I feel that it is just fine that i am not completely satisfied. I never should come to that point, I should always strive for more.

I feel like so many things are unreal. I also do not feel like my heart is into this post so this will probably end up being deleted in due time.

I need to fix some things in my life to make me happier. Including my current job situation, I love my job and the people there, but I can no longer make the drive 45 minutes out to go to work to get paid such a small amount. I need to find a closer job, a decent job. I need to ensure that my priorities are straight, they have been for the most part lately, I just need to keep it that way.

I feel like things are falling into place. I am happy for that. The pieces are starting to come together, or rather, the pieces of this puzzle are starting to show themselves, I have no idea how they come together at all. Just to get a glimpse of them has been interesting enough. I am slightly excited for what image they will create in my life at this time. I am very happy, I am near content, but far from complacent which is what I desire, to never be complacent.

Things are good.
I love life.
I love God for this life.
and I love my family.
I am blessed in so many unique ways, I am so excited to see what God has in store for my future.
I seriously am so in love with God.
He's so much more than amazing and He brings such a tremendous amount of joy to my life.