Monday, June 9, 2008

i got a plan. --struggles.

lyricssss. ahh! music is good. :) okay, anyway!

today was good, interesting, but good. tomorrow will be good. i have to pick up prescriptions for medicine i need to bring to Africa (i leave FRIDAYYY!!) thursday i'll be packing all day and I have an Africa meeting at night, then early to bed for me. I have to be at church before 6am on Friday morning for the drive down to O-town to leave for Africa.

I just got home from shopping with my mom for more necessities. I have to start packing soon, too. and finishing up laundry, and sewing my dresses since right now i just have a bunch of fabric. Wow, I'm going to Africa, God is going work SO much, I am way more than excited. Especially for teaching my lesson, God Alone. it will be a challenge though, so I have to give it all to Him and trust that He will speak through me so that these people will understand correctly and I don't confuse them since it is a complicated topic that honestly...i don't even fully understand. But of course I don't, it's God...nobody fully understands God, nobody ever will. That's one of the things that is just so amazing about Him. and His love, wow...the love of Christ, the greatest love ever.

I'm thankful for my friends that I have. I don't have many 'close' friends and i have no 'best' friends, but the friends i have are all pretty amazing and nice. I am blessed. and who knows, maybe one day some of my friends will be 'close' and will be my 'best' friends, that'll be nice. I'm loving life, I am thankful each and everyday. and even though i still suffer sometimes and mess up and am hurt, I know that God is there for me and He sees the big picture and I need to just fully trust in Him and then everything will work out for His glory.


p.s. please keep me in your prayers, i'm struggling in life at the moment :(


Kevin Bales just commented on my last post. Do you realize that he is one of my role models? It's amazing how God works, it's kind of like God was saying to me in a completely real way "Your dreams are more than just dreams, they can be a reality, you can do it." Wow, Kevin Bales...and he mentioned in the comment, If you were in my speech class, you know that I did a whole speech on that and Zach Hunter. Wow, how awesome!! One of my major role models just commented on my blog, how on earth does that happen? Seriously, God works in the most amazing of ways. This week is going to be awesome, I can feel it. I am so excited to see the ways that God will work throughout this week and throughout my time in Africa. Every little thing matters, God works through everything. I know that the lesson I'll be teaching is also so that I can learn more about it as well, the teacher must also be a student like a leader must also be a follower.

Wow, so Nikki just IMed me reminding me about how I need to keep my focus on God and that she's happy that I'm doing that and want to and realize that I slipped away. here, i'll just copy and paste part of what she said to me, it's awesome and touched my heart, once again, God is speaking to me so clearly through these people. So this is what she said, "i know that if you just take some time you can get it all right becuase you are a strong person you are one of the main reasons why i wanted a better relationship with God and strived for a better relationship with and for Him. You have such a drive that makes people want to jump on the band wagon and i want to have that also so you need to get things back right with God because you bring so many people to Him without even realizing it" Things like this are even more of a reason that I want to be completely in love with Christ again. I can't believe that I ever strayed. I know how awesome life can be with God leading it, I don't understand why or how I fell so far away for so long, but at least I'm finally getting back in love with God. I am remembering the love that God has, it's the best love ever. It really does leave me speechless....which i know, i've written a lot for having this post titled "Speechless," but being speechless completely, that's rare...i always have so much on my mind, a ridiculous amount of thoughts, but I love it. :)

I am so happy. I forgot that I could be this happy. Please continue to pray for the Africa missions trip. For us going and even more for those people who we are going to. This is going to be so amazing, God is working so much, just give it all to Him, you'll know that God is there, there is no way you can doubt His awesome power when you just give it all to Him.


Saturday, June 7, 2008

it's a matter of trust.

so i think that i've had lyrics for the titles / headings of my past few blogs, but that's alright...i think anything you say is a lyric nowadays anyway...

alright, so update...

i've been spending a lot more time in the Word than i have been the past several months. I'm re-reading the new testament, not necessarily in order, just in whatever order I feel placed upon my heart. and I'm loving it. I love how each time you read the Bible, there is something else that jumps out at you, something that applies to your life here and now. It is just so awesome. I love God, pretty much, yeah. I leave in less than a week to go to Africa, I'm pretty excited about that, too. I am so excited to see God work in their lives as well as ours. I am seriously so stoked to come back and see this world in a whole new way, I want my heart to forever love like Christs', I want my love to shine and I want everyone to see something different in me. I love that even though I wandered on my own path for a while, that God was still here waiting for me. I want to be that way for friends in my lifetime, no matter what happens, no matter how long it is before we talk again, I want to always be there for them no matter what the situation. I want them to see God's love in me. Not only do I want my friends and family to see that, but also strangers. I want to be a girl they see and think: Wow, there is just something different about her. I want to help those in need. I still have a passion for that, to help people, and I thank God for that gift, I am so thankful and so honored that I have such an awesome gift. I want to help end so much wrong in this world. I have high hopes and big dreams and I refuse to limit them because with God, anything is possible. I can help in the abolishment of slavery, there are currently over 27 million slaves worldwide, that is more than ever recorded in history. I want to put a stop to discrimination, I want abuse to end. Let there be peace on Earth and let it begin with me. To start all of this, though, I must be the change I want to see in this world. I need to not judge others, not condemn, all I can do is love, for love is the greatest gift of them all. I want to love everyone, with no favoritism, as our Lord and Savior does. I have so much I want to do in life, I will do everything I can with God. That can start with obeying my parents and cleaning my room...finally.... :)

later <3