alright...alright.

i'm happy(:

have a good day!(:


....hmm, happiness is inevitable...go figure.

Sociology Essay: One Hour Alone Time.

I chose to spend an hour and a half down by River Road in Orange Park. During this time, I sat on rocks and enjoyed the view of the Buckman Bridge and the sound of the water hitting the shore gently. It made me think of how awesome God is to create everything that He has. His creations are more amazing than I could ever come near to grasping the concept of. I love how beautiful nature is. One thing I thought about, though, was how the beauty of nature is so overpowered by the construction and technology that we have in our world today. I envy the people who have little. When I am older and live in a house of my own, I wish to live in a house in the mountains with very little technology. With my cell phone, I won’t and currently don’t care to have one up-to-date and the latest technology, such as the iphone. I am perfectly content with a cell phone that just makes phone calls and has text messaging. I do not need a camera or mp3 player on my phone. I just need a phone. I want to be able to enjoy life and not be so controlled by the fast pace that my life currently has. I wake up at 3:30am almost every morning to be at work at 4:20am, then as soon as I get off work, I come to school. Just last week I quit my second job, which helps some. I used to go to work at that job as soon as I got out of school on Mondays, and then my Fridays consisted of me going to work at one job in the early morning, another in the afternoon and early evening, and then leaving to go to my acting class. Each day after school, I don’t get to go home, I either have more class, church, a meeting, work, or acting class. Sitting by that river made me want to be like it. To be able to flow freely with time, at my own pace. My life is too fast, and it’s unfortunate. I would like to slow down once in a while, but it seems that at this time, my life has no slow lanes, all of my lanes are fast. I’m like a rushing, raging river used for white water rafting instead of a subtle stream with soft currents. I can stay at River Road so much longer than I did, but unfortunately, my busy life consumed my time, as usual. This is what I got out of my time spent at River Road.

no one can serve two masters.

unfortunately, i struggle with that on a daily basis [the fact that no one can serve two masters as it states in Matthew 6:24]. i say that i serve God, which i like to think i do, but in all honesty, i am not always serving Him. i try to say my life is in His hands, but more often than i blink it seems that i am trying to take my life back from Him. i need to not think i have control. i need to realize that it is okay that i am not living a perfect, graceful life. there is so much i have yet to learn. i am so young, i may be an "adult" legally, but spiritually, it seems like i am still a toddler. always falling down, always wanting my Daddy, and always trying to ignore the fact that i did something bad [sin].

once again, God spoke straight to me for a while now, and once again, Ryan allowed God to speak through Him, so again...God spoke to me, to remind me and to reassure me of all my thoughts and how they are from Him, and not just random things running through my mind that do not pertain to much of anything. God has given me a mind that is constantly thinking about a great multitude of things at the same time, things that many people do not even have cross their minds too often, if at all. i guess this is a blessing, but to me...it is still in disguise. i think so much. sometimes my thoughts scare me, i over analyze situations possibly. i am not sure. i just know i think a lot. i enjoy thinking. it appears to take the place of "boredom" in my life.

i need to once again, sort out my life, and give all of myself back to the world and i need to make sure i only keep what displays Christ. kind of as if i am cleaning out my closet of all the old clothes that no longer fit, i need to clean out myself of all my old self that no longer fits into this life of mine, the life of a christian. i need to reassemble my wardrobe. it seems that i am always buying new clothes, whether it's just to have, to "show-off," or just to add to the lack of space in my closet. and by the way to all of you who didn't quite follow that, i am not exactly referring to my physical closet, but more of my life. and that i am always taking in new tasks or new somethings to clutter my life or to "show-off" to others, to elevate myself for some reason or another, or just to add to the clutter or "noise" of the world and my life. i need to stop. i need to rid myself of all the things i no longer need. this includes a lot. i'll need to pray about everything and allow God to reveal to me the things i no longer "fit in to" anymore because i have grown out of them. i pray that i continually grow until the day i die and even further more. also, i need to pray for the obedience and faith to be able to listen to God and to follow the things He tells me to rid myself of. i am scared that it might be things or people i really do not want to give up. fear seems to run my life sometimes, i need to stop allowing it to.

also, my future. more and more it is resonating in my mind. i know i am called to be a missionary, internationally. i do not understand how this is supposed to happen. i do not know what university i will go to. i do not know anything about it other than that is what i am called to do. this fogginess of everything adds to my fear i'm guessing, i have no idea, but it's just a guess. i want to give up my life to Him so badly, i really and truly do. i just find it extremely difficult to do. there are so many plans, so many different, completely different, plans that i thought my life could be. and then God informs me of the plans He has for my life. things all get turned upside down it seems. but then i read the verse proverbs 19:21 and realized that it is expected; for me to have so many plans for my own life, but the plan that should and will prevail will be my purpose set forth by God.

wow, so this is not flowing with the rest of this blog fully [which i actually don't think it really flows too much at all, i'm bad with that, sorry], but i just watched a video on youtube by this pastor, John Piper, that my friend, Jessica Rouse, had sent me. and prior to me watching that, i had just finished and posted a bulletin on myspace saying about how God has been speaking to me so much and i have been willing and open enough to hear Him and to listen and to take in all of that He has been telling me. and what scares me once again, is that He spoke to me to talk to me about giving things up. i had just mentioned that earlier in my blog, and for all i know, i could have stopped mid-thought to watch that video or to reply to a message from jessica, getting all of the timing correct and my position correct in this blog, for me to tie this in. John Piper mentioned what Ryan mentioned earlier, about treasures and how God should be our treasure, because like the book of Matthew says, where our treasures are is where our hearts are, also. Piper also said, "God is most glorified in you when you are most satisfied in Him in the midst of loss, not prosperity." God is most glofiried in me when i am most satisfied in Him in the midst of loss. did you catch that? the midst of loss. this scares me. a lot. but it makes me so happy. God gives me emotions that i cannot even explain in words i know. God is awe-inspiring. God is awe-creating. God is awe. the midst of loss....that just sticks with me. Wow...

so, i am pretty sure that i have probably left stuff out that i have planned to write about, but maybe God just had me include the "important" things or something. once again, i have no idea. but my plans are not what will prevail, God's purpose. so God probably has a purpose for me writing this blog, and so my humanly plans were scratched out of the picture, but i am fine with that to the fullest extent. i hope you got something out of this, even if it's just that: wow, jenny has a strange thought process.

well, have a fantastic week!
peace!

pumpkin spice creme frappucino

yeah, it's good alright. i'm drinking mine right now(: it's really making me want it to be thanksgiving time. that is the beginning of my favorite time of year, as soon as november rolls around, the joy overflows my body and mind. it is just so amazing. and then it will get cold in december and january and february! how fantastic!

life is crazy busy and fast paced.
i need sleep.
i need time.

well, it's 930, and i need to shower & go to bed!
i have work at 430 AM!!! yikes!


peace!

i make plans to break plans, and i've been planning something big.

So these are the things i want to do before summer "ends"....

1. go to the cummer museum of art.
2. finish re-designing my bedroom.
3. finish reading a few books i started.


&that's basically it.

never be complacent.

that is basically all i wanted to say, in the title of this specific blog. i never want to be complacent with where i am in life, and i hope that you feel the same way. i always want to strive to be closer to God and to be continually growing in my walk with Christ(:


okay, now go read the blog below this one(: it's a good one, i promise(:

let's get high(:

so, lots of people have heard about that "camp high" and then how they "don't want to lose it," and how "this year, it will be different, this year...things WILL change and they won't fade away." has anyone else noticed that this year isn't much different for most people? sure, some changes could have been made, but how many people are still on that "high" and still completely on fire for God? it doesn't seem like too many. well, today on my way home from work, i was thinking about this....and i was wondering why it seems like such a "high" while at youth camp and stuff. and i think i figured something somewhat logical out. well, while we're up there, we spend time with God more than usual, we do not have as many distractions, and there is sometimes a schedule that we follow that include quiet times and worship services. we put more time towards God and less time towards ourselves. we pray more, we read His word more, we worship Him more. basically, instead of life being about ourselves or about the world, it's all about Him. we spend a lot more time with God. and i put it together in my head, the simple solution, if we truly want to be that close with God all the time, it doesn't matter where we are, we just need to re-organize our lives and spend a lot more time with God. if we want to grow closer to Him, we cannot just pray and rely on that alone, we have to strive to be closer to God. we have to be able to make plans around our time with God, and not make time for God AROUND our plans with friends. lots of people did the whole rock and sand in a jar thing when younger, i never did, but i've heard about it; i'll explain it here for those who have no idea what i'm talking about. basically, take a jar, or even just imagine this, and place sand in it, then try to place lots of rocks in it, you can't fit that many rocks, there's too much sand. WELLLL, if you put rocks in first, and THEN the sand, then you can fit a lot more rocks, and still fit just about as much sand. the rocks represent God and your time with Him, the jar represents your life and day, and the sand represents the earth and other worldly items. basically, if you place God into your life FIRST, then things seem to fit into place better, and you still have enough time to go out into the world. but if you put the world first, then it seems harder to fit God in as much as you should. i really like that little illustration, i hope you do, too(: it's funny how i thought about this today, because earlier at youth group, Ryan, the youth pastor, spoke about something that is somewhat relative to this topic, and it really hit me how amazing God is and how greatly He works. i love God a lot. and i want to be able to spend more time with Him, i just need to make the time. i write this blog, not in a sense of: this is how i live my life, you guys should, too. but rather in a sense of: man, i am just like the rest of you, and i really need to flip that around and i want to tell the world about this idea and maybe light a spark in other's minds, too. i really do want people to realize how amazing God is. i want to tell the world, tell the world that Jesus lives(: He is more amazing than i, or anyone else for that matter, could possibly explain. and i truly want to make this change. i want to and need to spend more time with God than i do already, i need to reprioritize and make sure that God is number one. He placed me on this earth, He saved me, i want to share this glory with others. (:


okay, well, these were my thoughts of the day(: i hope you enjoyed them. thank you for taking the time out to read this(: !!!(:

myspace blog 4 -05 July 2007

this song probably has some of my favorite lyrics ever, because prayer truly is more powerful than we tend to give credit to. when our friends are hurting or sick, we tend to say things like: 'well, i hope things get better soon,' or, 'aww, i hope you feel better.' how about we stop just "hoping" and start doing something about everything going on in this world, including your life and relationships with friends & family, and start with prayer. next time you hear about somebody hurting in any way, whether physically or emotionally, or even spiritually, pray for them, let them know that they are in your prayers. honestly, prayer can change the world, so you expect Miss America to bring world peace? how about you start expecting yourself and others to start bringing our own worlds peace.


"What If His People Prayed"
by Casting Crowns


What if the armies of the Lord
Picked up and dusted off their swords
Vowed to set the captives free
And not let Satan have one more
What if the church for heaven's sake
Finally stepped up to the plate
Took and stand upon God's promise
And stormed hell's rusty gates
What if His people prayed
And those who bare His name
Would humbly seek His face
And turn from their own way
And what would happen if we prayed
For those raised up to lead the way
Then maybe kids in school could pray
And unborn children see light of day
What if the life that we pursue
Came from a hunger for the truth
What if the family turned to Jesus
Stopped asking Oprah what to doWhat if His people prayed
And those who bare His nameWould humbly seek His face
And turn from their own way
He said that they would hear
His promise has been made
He's answered loud and clear, Yeah
If only we would pray
If My people called by My name
If they'll humble themselves and pray
If My people called by My name
If they'll humble themselves and pray
What if His people prayed
And those who bare His name
Would humbly seek His face, Yeah
And turn from their own way
He said that they would hear
His promise has been made
He's answered loud and clear, Yeah
If only we would pray

What if His people prayed

myspace blog 3 -19 June 2007

Voice of Truth
by casting crowns:

Oh,what I would do
To have the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand
But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win, you'll never win."
but the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
out of all the voices calling out to me
i will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
Oh, what I would do to have the kind of strength it takes

To stand before a giant with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me time and time again
"Boy you'll never win, you'll never win."

but the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
i will soar with the wings of eagles
when i stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says do not be afraid
And the voice of truth says this is for my glory
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe...

myspace blog 2 -03 may 2007

So basically, i love life. everything about it.
i love my family, my job is pretty good, the few true friends i have are amazing....things are seriously spectacular. i am so happy that God has blessed me with so much. i am also glad that i now find my life so wonderful compared to what i thought of it in the past. it is seriously a miracle and i owe it all 100% to God. to anyone who doesn't believe in Him, you can just look at people's lives and realize that He is real, He does work in our lives on a daily basis. the love is unconditional and it makes me smile and be happier than ever. Anytime that things go bad, i just think that it's only a matter of time until things blow over, so why waste time sulking and complaining to everyone about it? praise God in all times, especially those of trouble. Job praised God although so much was taken from him, Job is a great example in the Bible of constant praise. what a role model. we need to make sure that we show everyone love on a daily basis. just whenever you see people, smile at them, see how they smile back and be happy that you could have just improved somebody's day. making other people happy is a great deed. laughter is outstanding, make friends, talk to people, do everything in your power to shine your light for Jesus Christ. He is amazing and deserves all the notice He can get. and every morning and day that you're alive, thank God for that. He is obviously keeping you alive for a specific reason, think about that and don't forget to praise Him for allowing you to wake up all of these days. you never know when your time here on Earth will end, so make sure you live everyday for God. Leave your legacy as a christian, not as a party animal. sure the attention can be nice from those around you if you go out and get drunk or drink, but in the long run, people will be impacted in a positive way by those who live their lives the correct way, not be positively influenced by those who indulge in the evil desires of the world, which do include underage drinking. Also, don't try to hide your sin from people, it will all come out in the long run. Being two different people in two different places isn't the way to be, things just don't work that way. and if you're going to claim the title of a christian, live your life that way ALL the time. not just whenever you want, and don't forget that you're a christian and are supposed to be setting an example for others when everyone else goes out and drinks and parties, i think that we, as christians, should stay that way and not go out and party and drink and smoke and sex. it's not the way Christ intended us to live. especially at this age. and just because God forgives, doesn't mean that people should go out and purposely sin nonstop knowing that God will forgive them later, it isn't nice to take advantage of God like that, or other people. Life is seriously amazing, i hope everyone realizes that and can be happy as can be. definitely for everyone graduating this year, i hope that you all stay positive and live your lives for God, and if you're not currently living your life for Him constantly, it'd be great if you all did. [: God is amazing. He created us for a reason, try your best to fulfill your purpose and live for Him. [:He can seriously make your whole day and life better in ways that are completely amazing, ways that are difficult to believe. God is just that amazing and so is life.

Smile always. [:
Happiness is key. <3

myspace blog 1- 24 Oct 2006

Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.
This kind of talk spreads like cancer. Hymenaeus and Philetus are examples of this.
The Lord's servants must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone. They must be able to teach effectively and be patient with difficult people.
They should gently teach those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people's hearts, and they will believe the truth.
Again I say, don't get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights.
verses from 2 Timothy, chapter 2.(New International Version and New Living Translation)

you're never too far down, i promise you'll be found.

so on this pathway we call life, i have come to realize that i could not possibly have made it this far as successful as i have without God. sure, i already knew this, but it's just so great to know. He is more amazing than i could possibly put into words. the miracles he has performed in my life are awe-inspiring. my testimony is one that i will share with the world, although i have had struggles in my life in several different areas, i know that God has put me through everything I have been through for a reason. sure, when i was younger, i just said that i didn't like it and didn't like my family or my friends or my life, but over the years, God has blessed me with certain wisdom beyond my years and i realize that everything truly is in His name. i have gone through everything in my life for a specific reason. the most impacting are for my testimony i believe. if you care to hear it, just let me know, i'd share it. you'll be in shock, i'm sure. i have gotten to the point in my life where "i just don't care" what others think. i want to live to worship God. i don't care if people make fun of me for it, if people look down upon it, and i believe that nobody else should feel that way either. God has been more than helpful in my life and He can be in yours as well. prayer is so strong, just like the Casting Crowns song says: What if His people prayed? honestly....what if everyone called upon the name of the LORD to be broken, to be humble, to start a revolution. it could happen. the Savior that fed 4 thousand and 5 thousand with less than 10 loaves of bread, the LORD that raised people from the dead, out of the tomb even, and the Jesus Christ that died upon the cross for each and every one of our sins....is the same God that exists today. people may wonder why those things "don't happen nowadays" and it's simple. our faith. we need to strengthen it. be honest and pure with God. He gave us life, therefore we should live this life He has blessed us with for Him. tell the world that Jesus saves as Hillsong sings. worship Him in everything you do, whether it be opening a door for somebody, helping somebody pick up dropped belongings, just do random acts of kindness. always be wondering how you can help people. give a homeless person food and water, talk to them, they'll really appreciate it and it will bring a huge smile to your face, possibly even tears. and even though it's surely not required, try to spend time with Him on a daily basis. pray to Him, talk to Him, read His word, sing to Him, worship Him in some way. stop caring what people think, people are not forever, God and His love is. live for Him, it will definitely be worth it "in the end." i love God. i love praising Him. He has blessed me with so much, and i will surely live my life for Him forever. He deserves all the attention He can get, and although i am human and do fail at that at times, i want to strive to give Him everything. it will be difficult and it will take time, but i think i'm ready to do this. lay it ALL down for Him. afterall...."I'd leave ninety-nine, leave them all behind, to find you." Jesus got my attention, He "found" me, and i am surely glad i returned to Him. my life is more than amazing all because of the grace of God. stay happy and never be complacent. (:

basically;;

my hair isn't perfect, and neither is yours. i laugh at just about anything, including my own horrible jokes. i work at chuck e cheese. i love God, my family, and my friends. i go through hard times just like everyone else, i am not perfect. i like to have fun. notice i said fun, i didn't say i like to have: sex, drugs, alcohol. i am a dancer, an aspiring actress, and an ex-model. i am fully aware that i appear to be 14, that does NOT mean that you should treat me like i am, i AM 18 years old. i have dreams, i have ideas, i have more thoughts than you could possibly imagine. i don't like to talk on the phone, so if i don't answer, don't take it personally, just leave a message. i like to go to shows, music is simply amazing. i have a year membership to the zoo, yet i've only been ONCE since i've had it, what the heck people. get going to the zoo with me. my number one dream destination is Egypt. i wish to one day travel the world. one way i plan on doing that is on an amazing around-the-world cruise. i have great friends, some of which include: angie b, j-rouse, kacey r, nikki bee, andrew sales, madison b, and my wonderful friends in 168 youth ministries. i have this title of being a "good girl," this should not be confused with a lame title of "i am boring and absolutely no fun to be around." although some people do tend to make that mistake. i am not quick to judge a person. i am horrible at holding grudges. i forgive quicker than most. i am not good at being mean, sarcastically, yes, seriously...no. i prefer cold weather. Family Force 5 gets me in the mood to "just get up and DANCE!" you wouldn't understand unless you knew me quite well. i am normally single, and i am completely okay with that, seriously. unlike most girls, i am NOT boycrazy. i can be trendy and stylish, but i tend to wear tshirts and jeans on almost every occassion. i shop in the little boy section of walmart sometimes. i like to be creative in more ways than one. smiling is something i'm really good at. i can eat a lot, but normally, i barely eat. i like bright colors, they often attract my eye. i like pokemon, and it seems that it's becoming more and more popular everyday.....once again. pigs are my favorite animal. i tend to think fat, ugly animals are cute. my second favorite animal is a walrus. i know lots and lots of people, but i don't have many friends. i am not complaining, i'm just stating that fact. my friend from work, nick, is probably one of the funniest & nicest guys i have ever met. no, this does not mean i like him, it just means i enjoy his company and friendship. he seriously is so funny to be around, so much that i had to write this small section about him. movies are great entertainment. i hope you have more of a life than to read all of this. traveling is fantastic. i like to wake up early, although the whole process of waking up is an extremely tedious task for me. i like to be silly, but i am good at being serious. i like to dance around to music & to think up dances. hip hop dancing is amazing, breakdancing is even better. i want to become REALLY good at breakdancing, so if you're super good, please teach me more. for real. i have two guitars. i am not saying i know how to play them, i'm just saying i own them. one acoustic electric, and the other is electric. i honestly feel like deleting all of this, but instead, i'll just save it...and probably delete it in a day or two. (:

is it okay to make more than one post a day???

so, today while driving home, i noticed something....involving the war on terror.

i remember back in 2001, and at least the beginning of 2002 when everyone would buy those "support our troops" magnets and they were all over stores, but now...you see more "end this war" type of car magnets and merchandise in stores. it's crazy how right after the attack happened, America was all for fixing the wrong that was done to us, but now....they seem to have forgotten what we truly are fighting for. of course there will be soldiers who die, Freedom is NOT free, people pay a price, and that price is sometimes their life. some people actually have a PASSION for fighting for our freedom, why would you fight to try to take it away, it makes NO sense.

well, i still fully support the war on terror.
i support president Bush.
if you did not vote, do not complain.
thank-you. (:

just to remind everyone...

i love God.
with everything i have.
i wouldn't have it any other way. (:
He seriously is more amazing than i could ever explain.
He is my all in all.

<3