My heart and my passion too often gets pushed aside. I love my family, however, they're mindset is different than mine.
I was reading through one of those "personality test" things again, and noticed that what I am, is 15-20% of the world population. To me, that still sounds like a lot, but in reality, I know it's not. I am an "idealist" according to multiple personality tests that I found online (and we all know the internet is always right). It's difficult for me to understand the way people think at times, but instead of shutting them out because of it, I strive to understand. I ask questions. My 8th grade science teacher referred to me as Miles in Uncle Buck because of the multitude of questions I asked. He always compared me to a cat, a curious cat. I have no problem with either of these things. Too often people are too concerned about what others think to ask questions. They're concerned about what others may think of them. Why? I have no idea. I know that people idolize approval, something I never understood, but got to learn more about late last year through a Bible study with amazing girls. I am confused as to what I am. I have difficulty with making things black and white. I'm not sure that many things in this world are that simple. There are always different circumstances to make things gray.
I don't like judging people. I don't like when people judge people. However, I do struggle with judging people. The thing is, I'm typically judging the people that are judging other people. Did you follow that? I hope so. I'll be honest, not arrogant, and say that I typically try not to judge others. Unfortunately, I fail. I get all smug when I see people judging or looking down on others. All, "Who are you to think you can judge them?" I'm not sure if that's me judging, but to me it is. So I think I judge others, but I'm not really sure on that one. Again, gray.
One thing I know to be black and white is God, his word and his love. (This was a random sidenote, moving on to other nonsense now...)
I know that I'm called to a purpose that is bigger than the average 9-5 job and lifestyle. My heart aches for more than that. I want to help people. I want to show others how great life can be, especially with God. I want people to realize that things always get better. Happiness is inevitable.
I know that God has blessed me with my life. I have had hard times, I have had glorious and amazing times. I am so blessed to have been able to do all that I have being only 23. I'm blessed to have had this past year off to reflect on everything, figure things out, and relax. God always provides. He knows what he's doing. And now it's nearing the end of 2012 and I know that 2013 has big things for me. I know that changes are going to take place, I know that it's going to start a new chapter in my life. These are things God has been preparing me for and I'm so thankful for that. I can't remember the last time I've had this much peace with life. When it comes to idols, one of the ones I think I am is control. So for me to be at peace without a clue as to what comes next...it's a big deal. I'm trusting God. I know he has a path for me and I know my trust in him is going to help things along.
Big moves. Big changes.
I'm blessed. So thankful.
Life really is too beautiful for me to explain.
I wish everyone could be this optimistic about life.
Thank you God for these eyes, this heart, and this passion.
I can't wait to share it with everyone until the end of my days.