this entry includes things I didn't include in the blog I posted not even 30 minutes ago.
Okay, so I was thinking, for I don't know what reason, about my future spouse earlier. (keep in mind this is just me thinking random thoughts, nothing spurred this and nobody other than myself caused these thoughts, none of this really matters in the grand scheme of things) I was wondering if I would prefer to have my future spouse (or my next "significant other") be somebody I currently know or have it be somebody I meet within the next however many years. It'd be interesting either way.
I was also thinking that I didn't fully explain why I titled my last blog what it is titled. It is from a thought I had earlier about how I have actually seen the stars in Africa, more specifically the night sky in Mozambique. In a single night I counted 14 shooting stars, then stopped counting, but I still continued to see them that night. In ONE night, 14!! How amazing is that? And to think, the Lord I love and worship created those. We can't see all of that from where we are. And the sad thing is, that I have seen this and most, if not all of you reading this blog, have seen this sky I speak of. Technically speaking, you kind of have, but I hope you understand what I am trying to say in this.
Also, sometimes I miss things and people. I reminisce (sp?.) I am one of those people that "what if..." quite often. I think that is one reason that I give unlimited number of chances to think that people will change for the better and treat me better than they have in the past, I don't want to think, "Well, what if I gave that person one more chance..." I don't want to have to think that, I will continue to give them chances until they finally give up, I will not give up on anyone, I never want to. I refuse to hold a grudge with anyone, it's silly and pointless. It would only waste my time to be angry at him/her, because (s)he would be living life just fine whether I was angry at him/her or not. That's the truth, too. Why worry when it only affects yourself? Putting yourself through that just makes no sense. I struggle with this concept sometimes, not in agreeing with it, but living it. I believe that after I get my life straight with God and He is continually number one, that I will no longer struggle with this along with other things my mind goes all around about.
And as usual, I really enjoy music. I enjoy all the ways God speaks to me, whether I want to hear it or not, He still speaks, it is my choice to listen and obey.
Honestly, I am just so in love with God. That is all that matters, but I fear that I let Him down too often, I know I let myself down too often.
Also, I love my dad. I don't know if he will ever read this, but I want everyone to know that I love him and he is my best friend here on Earth. There are certain people in this world that I never want to let down and he is one of those people, the other is Kaitlyn Hermening, my cousin. I cannot stand for my father to be upset with me, it breaks my heart, I love him too much to upset him or let him down. I haven't experienced Kaitlyn ever being angry with me, but I feel that if it does ever happen, that I will also be extremely bothered with myself for doing that. The rest of my family is important to me, don't get me wrong, but for some reason, these two people are my best friends and I love them.
Seriously, life is so amazing, I am so thankful for everything...yes, everything.
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