Anxiety is building. Kind of as if I am riding the Superman ride at Six Flags and I'm going up the first climb and I'm just staring down at the ground, freaking out that the ride is going to break and I'm going to crash down. It never seems to end, I continually ride slowly up the track.
Waiting, one of the worst things to experience in the world. Tick tock, every second passes by, each one slower than the last. So here I am, like I have been all day, refreshing email, checking my phone for phone calls, waiting for a response. Getting false hopes, being fooled by email that doesn't matter at this moment, phone calls from Tess while we laugh up a storm after I explained to her my situation. Oh, the joy it has brought my day, this anxiety. I think I'm holding up okay, just waiting. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Testing my patience, building my patience.
I am just hoping that soon, I will be over this first drop and to know that the ride isn't going to break. That I will enjoy the ride and know that whatever happens, happens for a reason. That is the path I am going to take even though I am not yet able to see it. Life truly is like a roller coaster, a very interesting one.
lovelovepatience
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