I am not just a man vastly lost in this world, lost in a sea of faces. Your body's the bread, Your blood is the wine because You traded Your life for mine.
Sometimes my life, it feels so trivial. Immersed in the greatness of space, yet somehow You still find the time for me, it's then You show me Your love.
I wonder if I made the right decision so many times, I also wonder how different things would be if I made the decision to take a different path, I wonder if things would be better or if things would be just as bad or even worse. But then I remember that whatever is the situation, wherever I am in my life, this is exactly where God has me, I made the decisions I made for a reason and I am taking the path less traveled and I am giving it all to God. That is what truly matters. I might stray off sometimes, but God is still going to guide me in the right direction. I am getting back onto the correct path and I feel that it is so close to me. I fall away from it on occasion, but I tend to always find my way back. Thank goodness He never lets go. I am a letdown, a disappointment, a human. I know this and I am okay with that. Forgive me or not for my mistakes, the fact of the matter is that God forgives me and so do I. I forgive myself and I sometimes feel that seeking forgiveness from myself and eventually forgiving myself can be harder than asking God for forgiveness. I am rarely judgmental towards other people, I think that's because I am constantly judging myself and tearing myself apart. I over analyze every situation and sometimes it's just entertaining while other times, it just brings me down. I guess that to get up and to grow stronger, you've got to first be knocked down, so maybe subconsciously I am just building myself up. Maybe I have yet to reach the most difficult point of my life, so at a young age I am making myself stronger in preparation for what's to come. I have an opportunity in January to move to California and then live on the road for a semester with Toms Shoes. I pray that everything works out and that I will be doing this. My parents are seeming supportive so far and I feel that this is where God wants me, so if this is truly the case, then everything will work out for His cause. I am so excited and so overwhelmed by this great love and joy and adventure. I love that at such a young age I am able to do so much and I know that it is because of God. I just need to continue living my life for Him. The world isn't worth it, the world is not worth my time, the people in the world may be, but not the things of this world. I am worth so much more than this world, I am going to live my life for God continually. I will be judged and I will be torn to pieces for this stand I am willing to make, but I would love so much to die in His name. Cassie Burnall is one of my role models and always will be. To die for God at such a young age....wow. She had such bravery and was so sure of herself and God....she died for Him. I love God and I want to make an impact on people just as Cassie did and just as Zach Hunter is currently doing. Our generation can be the change, our generation should be the change. We must be the change we wish to see in the world. I'm in, are you?
lovelovelove
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