Friday, October 24, 2008

I am living proof.

Boxes packed and I'm ready to go. Piled to the ceiling, memories are all tucked away, the times we shared slowly fade as I step out the door. What's ahead, I am not sure, the secret is held within the hands of time. I grasp onto the hands with a desperate attempt to pry them apart, I try to run the race against the clock. I take one stride forward as the clock is ticking ahead of me, no matter what, I cannot seem to keep up. I will not catch time as it paces in front of me. The loose grip I had on the hands of time slowly weakens until it rips away. I can never know what is to come, all I can know what is here and now, and even then, I still feel as if I don't know. Does this mean I can know nothing, ever? I am not sure what it means, but I still wonder, I try to figure out this dilemma so many people refer to as life. I look around in confusion as well as anguish, completely unaware as to what street to take next, do I run away, do I run back, or do I slowly curl up in a ball in hopes that I can do nothing and still amount to something? The world as I know it grows ever clear, I am starting to learn that I never understood a single thing as I once believed it to be. My world has been flipped upside down. So many times before my world was inching closer and closer to being dismantled, but I rushed to place it back on the ground, I finally let go, I finally was able to let all control be taken away from me. I don't need the controls any longer, the controls I stole from somebody else, they never really belonged to me. I stole and learned the consequences. My life is now in the control of somebody else, upside down? No, the realization is that this is actually right side up, I've been living under this rock of the world and now I can finally see the light of day. I am no longer just another pebble mixed in the gravel, I am finally something more. I have grown, I have separated myself to be able to grow with the help of my controller. I am doing what no pebble could ever do before, I am growing in strength and size. I will leave a mark larger than those mixed in that gravel path. I am unique. I have packed my boxes and I have thrown them over the cliff. All of those memories, all of that life, thrown away, forever gone, shattered into the oblivion of space. A new life, a new perspective, a new me. I will arise from the dust and I will float on.


lovelovelove

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